Posts in category: Books

Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you wanna be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

The Secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable task, and then starting on the first one. -Mark Twain.

1) Breaking difficult task into smaller pieces. First step : Consult someone who has already done what you want to do and ask what steps they took. Or you can purchase a BOOK or manual that outlines the process.

2) Its okay to ask for guidance, sometimes you can get it free, sometimes you just got to pay for it. Get used to asking!

3) Use mind mapping to identify what small steps needs to be taken.

4) Convert all items on the mind map to your daily to do list! Schedule them in order into your calendar and do whatever it takes to stay on schedule!

5) Eat the ugly frog first. It’s a system by Brian Tracy which simply means identify 5 of the most important task you need to accomplish today and choose 1 that you absolutely must do and do that first. That is the ugliest frog.

6) Plan your day the night before and your subconscious mind will work on these tasks all night long. You will be ahead of most people who wasted their morning clearing their desk, making lists, finding necessary paperwork.

7) One of the great things about living in todays world is that people in this world and most of the things have been documented in books, audio, video or seminars. Meaning if you want to be successful you can! If you want to have better relationship with your spouse, you can red a book on relationship. Take advantage of this information and follow the blueprint, use the system, and you will be on your way to success.

8) Some common reasons why we don’t seek out resources around us. 1. It never occurs to us. 2. Its inconvenient 3. Asking other for advice or information puts us up against our fear of rejection. 4. Connecting the dots in a new way would mean change and change is uncomfortable. 5. Connecting the dots means hard work, frankly nobody wants to work that hard.

9) Seek out a teacher, coach or mentor to help you achieve your major goals.

10) Ask someone if you can shadow them for a day and watch them work. Offer to be a volunteer, assistant, or intern for someone you think you can learn from.

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

1. Recognising what tactic the other side is using and raise the issue explicitly, and question the tactic’s legitimacy and desirability.

2. Separate the people from the problem, don’t attack the people personally for using a tactic you consider illegitimate. If they get defensive it may be more difficult for them to give up the tactic.

3. Focus on interests, not positions, invent options for mutual gain and insist on using objective criteria.

4. Most common dirty tricks will be misrepresentation about facts, authority or intentions. If you are buying a car for example they will say This car was driven only 5000 miles by a little old lady who never went over 35 miles per hour. Disentangle the people from the problem. Unless you have good reason to trust somebody. Do not let someone treat your doubt as personal attack, it is not. No seller is going to give you a watch or car simply in exchange of your statement that you have money in the bank. So a practice of verifying factual assertions reduces the incentive for deception, and your risk of being cheated.

5. Ambiguous authority, after settling a agreement, the person suddenly say he have to double check with someone else for approval, this technique is designed to give them a second bite at the apple. Do not assume the other side has full authority just because they are there negotiating with you. Before starting on any give and take, find out about the authority on the other side.

6. Psychological warfare, these tactics are designed to make you feel uncomfortable, so that you will have a subconscious desire to end the negotiation as soon as possible. Like Stressful situations. Physical circumstances, like too hot, too noisy, too cold, meeting at your place or theirs. If you find the surrounding prejudicial, do not hesitate to say so and suggest a change.

7. Personal attacks, someone might use verbal or nonverbal communication to make you feel uncomfortable, they can comment on your clothes or your appearance. Looks like you were up all night, things not going well at the office? They can attack your status by making you wait for them or by interrupting the negotiations to deal with other people. In each case, recognising the tactic and bringing it up will probably prevent a recurrence.

8. Good guy and a bad guy routine, they will appear to be fighting in front of you. The first policeman threatens the suspect with prosecution for numerous crimes, put him under a bright light, pushes him around, then finally takes a break and leaves. The good guy then turn off the light, offers the suspect a cigarette, and apologise for the tough policeman. He says he would like to control the tough guy, but he can’t unless the suspect cooperates. The result: the suspect tells all he knows. What we can do is always go back to the objective and ask back the question, why do you think this is a fair deal?

9. What can we do if the other side refuse to negotiate? Recognise the tactic as a possible negotiating ploy. Don’t attack their refusal but communicate either directly or through third parties. Find out why they are not interested in negotiating. Lastly insist on using principles, like will they want others to refuse to negotiate with them? What are the principles they think should apply to this situation?

10. It is important to decide what it means to negotiate in “good faith” Is this the way i will negotiate with a family member or good friend? If a full account of what i said and did appeared in the media will i be embarrassed? Will i be a hero or a villain?

Set it right before you start and negotiate with principle and cut off the villain, to me if the other party is really in for a fair deal you are on the right track. If not this person is just a bad guy not worth working with.

A book not to miss!

However well you understand the interests of the other side, however ingeniously you invent ways of reconciling interests, however highly you value an ongoing relationship, you will almost always face the harsh reality of interests that conflict. No talk of “win-win: strategies can conceal that fact. You want the goods delivered tomorrow; the supplier would rather deliver them next week. You definitely prefer the large office with the view; so does your partner. Such differences cannot be swept under the rug.

1. No negotiation is likely to be efficient or amicable if you pit your will against theirs, and either you have to back down or they do. Trying to settle differences of interest on the basis of will has high costs, the solution is to negotiate on some basis independent of the will of either side, that is, on the basis of objective criteria.

2. Commit yourself to reaching a solution based on principle, not pressure. Concentrate on the merits of the problem, not the mettle of the parties. Be open to reason, but closed to threats.

3. A constant battle for dominance threatens a relationship; principled negotiation protects it. It is far easier to deal with people when both of you are discussing objective standards for settling a problem instead of trying to force each other to back down. The third world bloc, proposed an initial fee for companies mining in the deep seabed of $60 million per site. The united states rejected the proposal, suggesting there be no initial fee. Both sides dug in; the matter became a contest of will (battle of dominance). Then someone discovered that the MIT had developed a model for the economics of deep seabed mining, The model, gradually accepted by the parties as objective, provided a way of evaluating the impact of any fee proposal on the economics of mining. When the indian representation saw how the tremendous fee he proposed, can only be payable five years before the mine would generate any revenue, would make it virtually impossible for a company to mine. Impressed, he announced that he would reconsider his position. No one backed down, no one appeared weak, just reasonable. After a lengthy negotiation, the parties reached a tentative agreement that was mutually satisfactory. (objective)

3. So how do we develop our objective? First it must be based on Fair Standards. For Example your car is demolished and you file a claim with an insurance company. In discussion with the adjuster, you will need 1 the original cost of the car less depreciation, 2 what the car could have been sold for, 3. the standard blue book value for a car of that year and model, 4. what is would cost to replace that car with a comparable one and 5. what a court might award as the value of the car.

4. Fair Procedures. An old age way of dividing a cake between 2 children. One cuts and the other chooses. Neither can complain about an unfair division.

5. Frame each issue as a joint search for objective criteria. Reason and be open to reason as to which standards are most appropriate and how they should be applied. Never yield to pressure, only to principle.

6. Ask “What’s your theory?” If some one is giving you a price of $255,000 for your house. Ask what is the theory behind it. How did you arrive at this figure.

7. He might answer, my neighbour is sold his apartment next door for $260,000 so i think it is fair to price at $255,000. So if this is your theory, lets look at what the house on the corner of Ellsworth and Oxford and the one at Broadway and Dana were sold for.

8. Never yield to pressure, Pressure can take many forms, a bribe, a threat, a manipulative appeal to trust, or a simple refusal to budge. In all cases, the principled response is the same, invite them to state their reasoning, suggest objective criteria you think apply, and refuse to budge expect on this basis. Never yield to pressure, only to principle

9. Principled negotiation allow you to hold your own and still be fair. Principle serves as your hardhearted partner who will not let you yield to pressure. It is a form of “right makes might”.

10. If there is no give in their position and you find no principled basis for accepting it, you should asses what you might gain by accepting, their unjustified position rather than going to your best alternative. You should weigh that substantive benefit against the benefit to your reputation as a principled negotiator that could come from walking away.

Hope this gives you some ideas for you to negotiate better be it relationship or for business. Always be prepared. Be fair, Ask what is the theory behind their stand, Never yield to pressure and most importantly trust your heart. Take Charged!

Many times we think that fair is dividing for example an orange into 2, half goes to the first child and the other to the second. However the first child ate the fruit and threw away the peel and the second child threw away the fruit and dried the peel to bake a cake.  Many negotiation end up with half an orange for each side instead of the whole fruit for one and the whole peel for the other.

1. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 1: Premature judgement, nothing is so harmful to inventing as a critical sense waiting to pounce on the drawbacks of any new idea. Judgement hinders imagination. If you wish for a pay raise of $5000 and your boss counter with $1500. A figure that is unsatisfactory. In a tense situation like this you are not likely to start inventing imaginative solutions. You may fear that if you suggest something stupid you will be shoot down and rejected.

2. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 2: Everyone is searching for a single answer. We tend to think, we are having a hard enough time agreeing as it is. The last thing we want is a bunch of different ideas. Since the end product of a negotiation is a single decision, we fear that free floating discussion will only delay and confuse the process.

3. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 3: The assumption of a fixed pie, people always think in a fixed sum game, $100 more for you on the price means $100 less for me. Why bother to invent if all the options are obvious and i can satisfy you only at my own expense?

4. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 4: Thinking that solving their problem is their problem. Shortsighted self concern thus leads a negotiator to develop only partisan positions, partisan arguments, and one sided solutions.

5. Solution : Separate inventing from deciding, invent first, decide if it will work later. Brainstorm for ideas, people need not fear looking foolish since wild ideas are explicitly encouraged, there is no right way to run a brainstorming session.

6. Solution : Broaden your options, at this stage of negotiation we are not looking for the right path but looking for room to develop for negotiation. The key to wise decision making, wheather in wine making, sports, or negotiation, lies in selecting from a great  number and variety of options.

7. Solution : Look at the problem from multiple expert. From a banker, accountant, coach, lawyer.

8. Solution : Look for mutual gains. The Chess game may always seem like a either you win or i lose game. Not until a dog trots by and knocks over the table, spills the beer, and leaves you both worse off than before.

9. Focus on the differences in interest and belief make it possible for an item to be of high benefit to you, yet low cost to the other side.

Jack sprat could eat no fat

his wife could eat no lean,

and so betwixt them both

They licked the platter clean.

10. Ask for their preferences, one way to dovetail interests is to invent several options all equally acceptable to you and ask the other side which one they prefer. You want to know what is preferable, not necessarily what is acceptable.

Hope this 10 points opens up your mind in negotiating, its never one way to solve a problem. If you want to know more do get the book from amazon here.

 

20 days of unstoppable learning! Hope you guys are enjoying the learning as much as i do! So today we will be on chapter 3 of Getting To Yes! 10 points lets go!

1. 2 man quarreling in a library, one wants the window open and the other wants it closed. They bicker back and forth about how much to leave it open, a crack, half way, three quarters of the way. No solution satisfies them both. Enter the librarian. She asked one why he wants the window open “to get some fresh air” she asks the other why he wants it closed “to avoid the draft” after thinking a minute, she open wide a window in the next room, bringing in fresh air without a draft. For a wise solution reconcile interests, not positions.

2. The story about is a very common situation in negotiation where both party are not clear on the interests but focusing on the position of the window. No one would have been able to solve this problem if the librarian focus on the position too.

3. Interests define the problem. The basic problem in a negotiation lies not in conflicting positions, but in the conflict between each side’s needs, desires, concerns, and fears.

4. Behind opposed position lie shared and compatible interests, as well as conflicting ones. Like in a interest of a tenant vs landlord. Both want stability. The landlord wants a stable tenant; the tenant wants a permanent address. The shared interest being know may lead to a negotiation which results to a long lease, an agreement to share the cost of improving the apartment and efforts by both parties to accommodate each other in the interest of a good relationship.

5. To understand what interest they are in. Always ask yourself why when the other party takes a position. Why does the landlord prefer to fix the rent in a five year instead of one by one?

6. The most powerful interests are basic human needs. In searching for the basic interests behind a declared position, look particularly for those bedrock concerns that motivate all people. If you can take care of such basic needs, you increase the chance both of reaching agreement and, if an agreement is reached, of the other side’s keeping to it. Basic human needs include:

1. security
2. economic well being
3. a sense of belonging
4. recognition
5. control over one’s life

7. Acknowledge their interests as part of the problem. Each of us tends to be so concerned with his or her own interests that we pay too little heed to the interest of others. People listen better if they feel that you have understood them.

8. Put the problem before your answer. If you tell them your answer first they may feel defensive and will not want to listen and start attacking you back. However if you want some one to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later. Tell the company first about the dangers they are creating then they will listen carefully.

9. Be concrete but flexible, you wanna know where you are going and yet be open to fresh ideas! To avoid having to make a difficult decision on what to settle for, people will often go into a negotiation with no plan other than to sit down with the other side and see what they offer or demand. An open mind is not a empty mind.

10. Be hard on the problem, soft on the people. It is not wise to commit yourself to your position but it is wise to commit to your interest. Often the wisest solutions, those that produce the maximum gain for you at the minimum cost to the other side, are produced only by strongly advocating your interests.

Tell us how you are able to apply these negotiation skills in your daily life or if it had impacted you in the comments below! Stay strong, Take Charge!

As always the book you can purchase it from the link below!

Same as how the Chinese always says 对事不对人 english we have separate the people from the problem. Today we will be touching on the first part out of the 4 method in winning a negotiation.

1. Ever happen to you in a work place where you always “kena” arrow? Then you are thinking why always me it has been 5 times in two weeks. What’s going on? Thinking that, your boss hates you or something but turns out when you asked your boss, its because your boss thinks you are the best, he can trust you. He keep on sending you because he had no choice as no other people are able to replace you. The boss also thought that you love the responsibility. We human being have emotions, deeply held values, and different backgrounds and viewpoints. We are prone to cognitive biases, partisan perceptions, blind spots, and leaps of illogic.

2. Every negotiator has two kinds of interests. 1. in the relationship. 2. substance

3. Anger over a situation may lead you to express anger toward some huamn being associated with it in your mind. Like “The kitchen is a mess” or “Our bank account is low”  Egos tend to become involved in substantive positions and it will be hard for people to negotiate properly.

4. Disentangle the relationship from the substance; deal directly with the people problem. In negotiating it is easy to forget that you must deal not only with their people problems, but also with your own. Your anger and frustration may obstruct an agreement beneficial to you. You perceptions are likely to be one sided, and you may not be listening or communicating adequately.

5. As useful as looking for objective reality can be, it is ultimately the reality as each side sees it that constitutes the problem in a negotiation and opens the way to a solution.

6. Put yourself in their shoes. How you see the world depends on where you sit. People tend to see what they want to see. You may see on the table a glass half full of cool water. Your spouse may see a dirty, half empty glass about to cause a ring on the mahogany finish.

7. They met in a bar, where he offered her a ride home. He took her down unfamiliar streets. He said it was a shortcut. He got her home so fast she caught the ten o’clock news. Why is the ending so surprising? We made an assumption based on our fears.

8. Under attack, the other party will become defensive. For example, you do a lousy job and the machine breaks down again. When you talk about the problem, distinguish the symptoms from the person with whom you are talking. “Our machine that you service has broken down again. That is three times in the last month. The first time it was out of order for an entire week. This factory needs a functioning machine. I need your advice on how we can minimize our risk of machine breakdown. Should we change service companies, sue the manufacturer, or what?

9. We are doing it just to let them “save face”. The tone implies ridicule. The grave misunderstanding of the role and importance of face saving. Face saving involves reconciling an agreement with principle and with the self image of the negotiators. Its importance should not be underestimated.

10. Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said. “Did i understand correctly that you are saying that . . .?”

Mostly importantly is to keep a good relationship with the other party. Prevention is better than cure. Hope this helps with your daily negotiation and unlock some brain juice from you. If you need the book check out my link below!

Daily read 17, we are finishing up on Awaken The Giant Within, today will be the last chapter and its on Identity : the key to expansion! Hope you guys enjoyed the book as much as i do. Tomorrow i will be sharing another awesome book! So stay tuned! Do drop a feedback in the comment section if there is another book you wish for me to share! So here will be the 10 points for today!

1. what we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are. If you ever told yourself “I could never do that” or “i am just not that kind of person” then you have run up against the barriers of limited identity.

2. The beliefs that we use to define our own individuality, what makes us unique, good, bad or indifferent from other individuals. And our sense of certainty about who we are creates the boundaries and limits within which we live.

3. If you feel that you are not an outgoing, outrageous person, you will tap the resources of behaviors that match your identity. Wheather you see yourself as a wimp or a wild man, a winner or a wallflower your will instantly shape which capabilities you access.

4. Time and again researchers have shown that students capabilities are powerfully impacted by the identities they develop for themselves as the result of teachers belief in their level of intelligence. Studies shown, a kid is labeled as gifted by the teacher, these children will normally be the top achievers in their class. Even those who have previously been labeled as poor student.

5. We all will act consistently with our views of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not. The reason is that one of the strongest forces in human organism is the need for consistency.

6. A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

7. We all have a need for a sense of certainty. Most people have tremendous fear of the unknown. Uncertainty implies the potential of having pain strike us.

8. Valijean stole the priest silver wares even thou the priest helped him out when he was in trouble. When being caught by the police Valijean was brought back to the priest. The priest said Valjean didn’t stole the silverware but it was a gift from the priest and he actually missed out 2 silver candlesticks. Why would the priest believe in Valjean? The priest said, he was his brother, that Valjean no longer belonged to evil, that he was an honest man and a child of God. This massive pattern interrupt changes Valjean’s identity.

9. So who are you really?

10. Are you a millionaire? A you a happy person? A you someone who empower people? Are you someone who think you are fat? Or Are you someone who think i am a healthy person?  Many people have given themselves the identity that they are a fat person. Its not the fat that make them fat but the identity they stick to believing that they are fat that causes them to stay that way. So Who are you really?

I think, therefore i am – Rene Descartes 

Hope you taken something out to use from this 10 points today! Stay Charged Be Cool You are Awesome!

As always if you need the book you can always click the link below so i can earn some affiliates $! Cheers!

“Man’s mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Here are the 10 points to take away from todays daily read on Anthony Robbins : Awaken The Giant Within Chapter 17 :  References : The Fabric Of Life.

Point 1 : If we want to understand why people do what they do, a review of the most significant and impactful reference experiences of their lives certainly can gives us clue. Just like saddam hussein who had been abused by this father and how his uncle teach him to nurture a grudge and to hate the English “overlords.” that causes him to be who he is. However in life, its not our references, but our interpretations of them, the way we organise them that clearly determine our beliefs.

Point 2 : References are all experiences of your life that you have recorded within your nervous system, everything you have ever seen, heard, touched, tasted, or smelled. stored away in our giant brain. Some we pick up consciously, some unconsciously. The power to using your references is to organise your references in an empowering way. The way we use our references will determine how we feel, because whether something is good or bad is all based on what you are comparing it to. 

Point 3 : Sony when they just started was once made an offer for 10 times the value of the company. For their $10,000 company Bulova offered them $100,000. However the offer was rejected, he told them “Fifty years from now, my company’s name will be as big as yours.” Many people thought Sony was crazy not to accept that offer. How was he able to create this sense of certainty that enabled him to turn down such an enticing and profitable offer? He vividly imagined the future of his company, and created references where none existed. 

Point 4 : You want to learn from your past, not live in it, focus on the things that empower you. What if Thomas Edison had given up after his first failed attempt to make the electric light bulb or even the 100th attempts or 1000th attempts. Luckily for us, he could had taken each instance as a reference to back up a belief that his invention was a failure and it is not feasible. Instead, he chose to use each failed attempt as a reference for the belief that he was getting closer to the solution.

Point 5 : Reading is feeding your mind. Read a book, go to seminars, meet people, listen to audio tapes, poetry, myths, stories and get new ideas. All references have power, and you never know which one could change your entire life.

Point 6 : I used to believe that going to see a play was a waste of time. Why? Because the only plays i had ever attended were poorly acted and the pace was painfully slow. Until one day they decided to go for the Les Miserables, it was one of the best show he ever watch and since then he become addicted to great theater! “Imagination is more important than knowledge” – Albert Einstein

Point 7 : There are no bad experiences, whether its a challenging experience or a pleasurable one, every experience provides me something of value if i look for it. if i pull just one idea or distinction from an experience, then it expands me.

Point 8 : “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” – Antonie De Saint Exupery

Point 9 : I will never get over them; I will always have pain. Been broken in a relationship? You are absolutely right, as long as you hold on to the belief that you have been taken advantage of, or that you have lost something that can never be returned, you will indeed always have the pain. Just remember, Loss is imaginary. Nothing ever disappears in the universe ; it only changes form.

Point 10 : We live in a galaxy that contains several hundred thousand million stars. Then realise that we live in a universe that has several hundred thousand million galaxies. In other words, there are several hundred thousands million suns in our galaxy alone. And all of these suns have planets revolving around them as well. Think of the magnitude. The stars in our galaxy make one turn around the milky way axis only once every several hundred million years. When you compare it to the life span of us human (80 years max on average) The human life span is but a speck in time. And yet people worry themselves to death about things like how they’re going to pay the mortgage, what kind of car they drive, or how their next business meeting will go.

If you enjoy this 10 points today, i believe you will love the book you can grab a copy at the link below! May the force be with you!

Ever wonder why you are not happy? How some one can be happy and why you are not? Are they expecting lesser in life so they are easily contented and therefore they are more happy? Is this really the truth?

There was this perfect place for people to watch the eclipse and many had paid a huge amount of money just to be at this special spot for this once in a lifetime experience for the 4 minutes eclipse. By 7:10am the clouds had increased and were getting larger by the minute. Suddenly, the sun broke through a hole in cloud, and a partial eclipse was seen. The crowd greeted it with excited applause, but soon it was covered by the clouds. It became obvious that we wouldn’t be able to watch the moon overtake the sun. Then the large crowd of people rush over to the Big Screen set that on of the TV crew erected. There we sat watching the eclipse on national television. Everyone at that moment reacted differently. The situation that all of us face is the same. Some said “I spend $4,000 and traveled all this way, just so i could watch this for four minutes on television?” a few feet away “i can’t believe we missed it! with the daughter reminding her “But, Mum, it’s happening right now!” Some “Isn’t this incredible?” “I feel so lucky to be here!”

The ironic thing of all was that within fifteen to twenty minutes, the trade winds had cleared all the clouds from the sky. It was now blue and clear, and the eclipse was revealed. However many has when back to their room, feeling disappointed and they continued to give themselves the sensations of pain because their expectation has not been met.

People would get so excited and emotional about something like the eclipse which is merely a four minute shadow. If you really think about it, it’s no more of a miracle than the sun coming up each morning! Can you imagine if every morning people from all over the world got up early so they could watch the sun come up? And be really excited and happy about life? Imagine if the CNN opened every broadcast with, “Good morning, once again, the miracle has happened- the sun has risen!” Could we? You bet we could!

What has to happen in order for us to feel good? Do you need to be hug? kiss? or make love to in order for you to feel good? Do you have to run 5 miles a day so you can feel good? What really has to happen in order for you to feel good? The truth is that nothing has to happen in order for you to feel good! You can feel good right now for absolutely no reason whatsoever!As long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain. We can always decide to enjoy the event no matter what happened. It wasn’t that we didn’t have expectations, its was that we decided that no matter what happened, we will find a way to enjoy it. To adopt this rule is to raise your standards. It means you have to hold yourself to a higher standard of enjoying yourself despite the conditions of the moment.

Rules that we give ourself determine if we will be happy or not. Like for example, many people will have a different answer to “Do you have a great body?” A set of criteria will be trigger that you believe constitutes to having a great body. How do you know if the other person love you. You will also have your own set of believe.

Like if he loves me he will never raise his voice at me or if you love me then you will do whatever i want you to do. Or if you love me then i can whine and nag and complain and you should just accept it. Does this sounds familiar? Are these appropriate rules? Hardly! They would be unfair to anyone you were sharing a relationship with. One woman who attended date with destiny really wanted to have a close relationship with a man. However she has rules that disempower her. First she need a guy who will pursue her constantly even thou she rejected them. Second rule is if he kept on for more than a month, she will lose her respect and therefore her attraction to him. Sometimes the rules that we give ourself stop us from getting what we want and we can’t seem to understand why. And you thought you only want to be love and you can’t get it so there is a lot of pain.

Understand your mind, we can be happy, we can be sad. Make your choice and take charge!